Parents Reject Millennial Who Comes Out As “Uncool” On Social Media

I can remember the moment when I realized I could no longer hide who I was from my family. I had lived this lie for so long that it literally felt like it was going to eat me alive.

Every day I woke up feeling like I carried the weight of the world on my shoulders. I was trying so hard to be everything my parents wanted but deep down, I knew that this just was not who I was destined to be.

I couldn’t help it. I was born this way. This was not a choice. I tried to deny it to myself for the longest time, told myself it was a “phase” and that things would improve. But on this day, I realized that things weren’t changing and I had to come clean.

I had to tell my parents that I wasn’t cool on social media.

I knew that I had brought shame and dishonor to my family name. They had sent me to the best schools, brought me on the nicest vacations, bought me great clothes and yet here I was, failing to gain any type of online traction.

“I’m sorry,” I choked as I finally handed over my phone and let my parents see my Instagram profile for the first time in months.

“Only 67 likes on this?” My mom said in complete horror and disgust. “How can this be? You’re with a tiger!”

I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t tell her that the other girls just had perfected taking a selfie like I never could. I went to all the classes, watched all the YouTube tutorials but somehow, my selfie game was just never as strong.

I knew that on this chilly March day my parents would never see me quite the same. My college degree lost a bit of its worth, my kindness seen as almost irrelevant and my new job was basically a waste of time.

“How will you ever find a suitable man to marry if you don’t get more followers than this?” My father asked concerned.

He was absolutely right and I fought to hold back the tears that needed to come. I didn’t know what type of respectable guy would ever go for a girl with under 500 followers online. I was mortified, but knew that I had given it my all.

I began to explain that I had tried every possible angle to sell myself as cool. I really committed to trying to be the best person I could be by only purchasing food so I could take pictures of it, and posing seductively in the hopes that my sexuality could maybe entice some people.

I told them how I fell down the stairs trying to get the perfect lighting of me and my squad and about the times I waited in line for eighteen hours to get a rainbow bagel so I could take a picture of it by the Brooklyn Bridge and then not eat it.

“Why did we even bother sending you to study abroad?” They both asked. Again, I hung my head in silence. There was no point in experiencing another culture if it was not going to be popular with strangers online. I did not need to be immersed in the experiences of other’s to grow. I needed to feel temporary satisfaction by their comments and likes, that was how you became a more well-rounded person.

I wasted their money and had given them absolutely no return on investment. I was a financial let down and mistake.

“I’m sorry!” I pleaded again, not knowing what consequences lay ahead for me.

I realized my opportunities were dwindling because of my lack of online popularity. I would never marry, get a promotion or be respected within my community.

I had failed, but could only hope that they would be able to come to terms with reality and accept me for who I am.

“We can send her away,” suggested my Father. “There are special places for girls like you, who are confused and think they can’t change, but you can!”

“Yes,” my Mom chimed in. “We can fix this, sweetie. We can sign you up for more classes, get you a therapist to talk to and a life coach to help you with your hashtags.”

My heart broke into a million pieces. Why couldn’t they understand that my eyebrows would just never be on fleek. I couldn’t contour to save my soul and if I couldn’t look hot then there was basically no point in living at all.

I thought they could love me for who I was but the shame would be too great. We would be excommunicated from our community.

“I can’t live like this!” I screamed through tears. My legs were so tired from jumping on all these bandwagons that I felt like I had no more fight in me. I was defeated.

My parents life-long aspiration for me to be Insta-Famous was shattered. I would never see their smiling faces as I surpassed the 1 million mark of followers who had such genuine love for me because of my external appearance.

All the training, the money, the time. It was all for nothing. No one followed me when I became a yoga teacher, so I tried cross fit instead. But I blew out my back trying to dead lift and had to go back to yoga.

I tried only eating pizza to show that I was great at being skinny and also eating like crap but I just got fat. I became a vegan, then went on the paleo diet and even tried a trendy new thing where you only ate air for a while. No success with the followers.

My final attempt at bringing any kind of redemption to my house was to make a sex tape. Perhaps this could renew our name and once again make me seem great in society’s eyes. Maybe if I could be like Kim Kardashian people would finally see that I was really worth something.

But that too, failed.

So it was decided, I had to leave my home and promise to never return.

I hung my head heavy as I looked back at my childhood home one last time, tears streaming down my cheeks. It was bittersweet.

I would never see my parents again, but at least I spared them shame and at least I was finally free to be who I was – A failure.

Graduating College Feels A Lot Like Going Through Puberty

Take yourself back to middle school. You’re awkward, unsure and uncomfortable in your own skin. Maybe you had braces, bangs, an overbite, or acne.

Your parents sat down with you and had a conversation reassuring you that you wouldn’t always feel this pressure to constantly fit in, and that things get better. They told you that now is the time where you’re coming into your own and figuring out who you are and all those raging hormones can make things very complicated.

You probably found yourself wandering between classes wondering where you’d end up and excited that life would one day be bigger than the walls of your educational institution and now, as you enter adulthood, you know that life is certainly bigger than middle school.

But one thing that hasn’t changed for many of us recent post-graduates is the fact that we still don’t know who we are.

You have just completed college and already started a first job, yet you find yourself still treading water in a whirlpool of identities when you thought at this point in time you’d be swimming laps in the Olympic pool.

Our once raging hormones are most likely tame, but have now been replaced with racing thoughts and raging doubts.

What used to be comparing your growing body to your peers’ in the gym locker room has shifted to us flocking to social media to find reassurance in our decisions, only to find that with every scroll, double tap and refresh, we feel worse.

“Should I be doing something else?” You wonder. Did you make a mistake not taking the GRE? Was majoring in political science the best option for you? Should you have saved up more before moving out?

The infinite ways you could think about the what ifs, the could ofs and should ofs are enough to drive you insane. In fact, you may actually think you are already at that point.

Upon graduation, many of you may have had yourselves figured out and maybe you really do. Well, good for you because you’re the exception and the rest us are the rule.

Many of us now find ourselves endlessly scouring the job boards, reading description after description and thinking, “This is a great fit!” Until you keep scrolling just a little further, and find yourself wondering if you could actually see yourself doing it full time.

You begin to wonder if your career goals from the beginning of college still hold true for you now and replay the mistakes you made in your most recent interview. Many of your resumes are answered with silence and you begin to question if you’ll ever end up at the job of your dreams. You’re finding that answering the question, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” Is tough because you honestly have no idea.

The disheartening feeling is similar to when you first start developing a chest and think you’re ready to move up a bra size, only to realize that you’re still very much a 32AA, but you know what? It’s O.K.

It’s alright to admit that developing yourself takes time and that your initial idea of who you are may change 1,000 times before you get it just right. You didn’t just wake up one day and have round hips or a deeper voice did you? No, so why should this chapter of your life prove to be different?

As an adolescent, every day you grew a little taller, your face got a little thinner, your body, unfortunately hairier. The thing is that you didn’t necessarily see it happening.

It just happened and that is how I presume you come into your own and figure out what you truly want.

Each day you age you’ll have less doubts, a better idea of what interests you and stronger intuition about how to get yourself to the place you want to be.

Have you ever looked back at old pictures of your awkward, lanky self and laughed? You probably have and you laugh because you remember all the very absurd worries you had at that point in time.

You worried you’d be the last girl to get her period, or embarrassed to be the only boy whose voice hadn’t gotten deeper, and you think how silly those worries were because everything turned out just fine.

You were having those ridiculous thoughts 10+ years ago and I bet almost anything that in 10 years time you will look back at a picture of your newly graduated self and think two things: 1. Why was I wearing that? 2. I can’t believe I spent so much time worrying.

So you graduate college and your parents sit you down and tell you that things won’t always be this hard. You don’t have to feel this constant pressure to fit in because social media is a choice and you can avoid comparing and contrasting if you’d like.

They’ll tell you that everything works out and that you’ll come into your own but it can take some time. The only thing making it harder is all those raging doubts. The major difference here is that in middle school we could not control our hormone levels, but in our present situation, we can control our doubts.

Replace the doubts with words of encouragement. If you can make it through puberty, you can make it through anything.

Breaking News: Pizza Is Going Extinct & Makes You Sexy

Let’s talk about a serious issue here. I know things have been tense lately.  We all have our sides, opinions and decisions to make. There’s an endless list of all the problems in America and as millennials, we need to be involved. After all, this is an election year.

There has been a ton of controversial and heavy topics that we have weighed in on this year – one of the most crucial being pizza.

That’s right. Pizza is a big topic that needs to be addressed.

Pizza is BAE. Pizza is apparently now the best thing to ever happen to anyone ever. 

The amount of Instagram, Snapchats and tweets that read “Pizza is BAE” are alarming. People truly feel that a saturated fat/carbohydrate is “before any one else” leading me to believe that we have bigger fish to fry then the fact that you’re putting yourself at risk for Type 2 Diabetes.

The phenomenon of pizza is one that must mean pizza is “Before Arteries Existed” because the amount of pizza being consumed is abnormal. Except what’s ironic here is half the pizza we see photographed is probably not being consumed. We are wasting good food.

We all know you’re a liar if you try and tell us you ate an entire pizza pie by yourself in one night. You would be vomiting it, not photographing it. We’re wasting time.

Once again our images are all for show (shocking I know).

But here’s the real head scratcher, when women post pictures of themselves showcasing their greasy eating habits, this makes them sexy. (?)

However, when we post pictures advertising no makeup or rocking sweats, we are no longer as hot? I need clarification here.

Why does eating fatty food make me hot? Why does being healthy make me gross? Science says the opposite so I’m a wee bit conflicted at the moment.

Eating badly leads to disease, which can ultimately lead to death. Does this mean death is now hotter than being alive? Please advise so I can adjust accordingly. 

While pizza is forever a win, let’s understand that it is now being used as a way to instruct women and make them feel like they must fit a gender stereotype. Rah, rah sexism.

Basically, this is what I’ve gathered from the pizza trend:

It’s cool if you eat pizza and you’re really skinny because you’re living up to unrealistic standards. Working out? Psh, forget it! You barely work out because you don’t gain weight. You could eat fast food every day and still have abs because you’re just that great.

Pizza is an accessory. Forget that new purse – pizza makes you seem cooler. If you pretend like you don’t give a crap and eat crap but still look good, you’re like, really pretty.

You may think you’re really cute, but that picture of you and a Diet Snapple is disgusting and you need to check yourself.

Pizza is also going extinct I can only assume that the sudden crazy obsession with cheese and dough must mean that it is coming to an end and people are freaking out and trying to get their fill of pizza before it’s too late.

People are literally saying that they would put a pizza (which they just met) before any one else. This is probably not good.

We need to start determining our allies and forming alliances ASAP because it’s everyone for themselves out there. You may need your best friend to come over to comfort you in your time of need, but they need you take a rain check because the Domino’s guy just got there, and unless you can cover yourself in cheese and sauce…pass.

How do we make America great again if the pizza is going extinct? Will girls still be hot without pizza? Who is the swing vote here? The pizza?

I need answers.

 

 

 

 

Hello Instagram, It’s Me & I Don’t ‘Like’ You Anymore

In September of this year I returned from a 3-month long trip in Europe. I came back because I could only pretend to be care free for so long before I ran out of money and needed a job. At the end of the day I had to admit that unfortunately, food is essential.

Throughout my travels I found myself taking loads of pictures. Some of these were for myself, but mostly, they were for the 476 people who I don’t really know.

After Essena Oneil made her announcement of quitting social media last week, she reaffirmed that I was not alone in my feelings towards social media.

I’m going to be brutally honest about myself here in the hopes that other people can know that they are not alone. Social media can make you feel like absolute and total crap. How do I know this you ask? Because it often makes me feel that way.

Getting likes on Instagram literally made me feel good about myself. It validated that what I was doing was cool, accepted and great, that is until I refreshed the page and saw someone else doing something cool, acceptable and great. My feelings of success were only as permanent as the moment my picture was in the spotlight, and soon faded once I was forced to compare it another individual’s.

You can say this is merely insecurity and perhaps you are correct, but would I really be feeling insecure if I no longer was part of a system that made me compare, compare, compare and then contrast, contrast and contrast some more?

If I didn’t get more than 50 likes, I would feel as though I failed or came up short. As if I studied for a test that I was supposed to get an A on but only received a B+. “But this picture was so cool,” I would think, “Why don’t more people like it?” It made me question how socially well-liked I was and subsequently, made me question myself.

When I share a picture of myself rescuing a sea turtle and it gets 50 likes, but someone is super beautiful and receives 4,000 likes, things get placed into perspective. It makes you feel like what you have done or do will never be enough.

When someone doesn’t post what they’re doing in the social media spotlight many of us often assume that they are not having fun, not successful or not existing. What I realize is that those people have it right. They are the ones existing far more than you or I because instead of captioning images, scrolling through feeds and hitting refresh, they are physically living a life instead of just sharing one.

How in the moment can I really be if I document my life according to what other people will be impressed with. What happened to just feeling good enough on my own?

I’m not going to delete my Facebook because that’s how I connect with those who are far away, but today, I’m breaking up with Snapchat and Instagram because I’m tired of feeling a constant pressure to impress people that I honestly don’t even fucking know anymore.

Do I care that that girl from my English class freshman year liked my photo? Do I need to see the inside of the office of that guy who I haven’t spoken to in four years and how TOTALLY AWESOME HIS JOB IS? No.

If anything, the ability to connect with millions has taught me that I really only need to connect with a few. The most important feedback is from those who know me, love me and want the best for me.

In a society where we are all so eager to showcase our individuality, we readily jump on the opportunity to “follow” other people. Can someone please explain that to me because it quite literally makes no sense.

How will a stranger’s ‘like’ ever make me feel like I’m REALLY doing something.

Don’t say you want to live for the moment when you claim you “do it for the insta.”

Do it for yourself because otherwise, it doesn’t really matter at all then does it?

How The Term “Reality Star” Is Distorting Perceptions

If you’re a 20 something, then you’ve grown up in the age of reality television. You’re familiar with shows like The Real World, Survivor, and Fear Factor.

What you’re also probably familiar with is the term reality star. While this probably seems like it’s no big deal, it is and here’s why:

Whenever it was that you first became acquainted with the idea of a celebrity or a star, you were probably taught that this is a person of important social influence. An A-lister is someone who is successful, a role model, beautiful and generally, admirable.

I’m 100% on board with supporting people in the entertainment industry who are incredible actors, performers, philanthropists and composers. But what I am disgusted with is the praise and level of obsession that is given to “reality stars”.

Why they are even referred to as such is beyond me because these **stars** could not be living further from reality. I truly need someone to explain to me how crying over a leaked sex tape, shooting nude photographs, and flaunting plastic surgery is in any way a reality. I have done zero of these things and I’m pretty sure my life is real.

This is not the life of a realist; this is a life of selfishness and delusion.

Most infamous is the Kardashian clan, who quite literally, hurt my soul. At a glance, you could try and say these people are successful if you’re examining them from a financial point of view, but from an ethical one, they are failing in more ways than one.

They are representative of the thousands of reality stars who behave poorly and set bad examples and then are glorified for it.

What kind of message does it send to girls and young women when they see someone placed on a pedestal, given millions of dollars and fame, all because of having sex, filming it and then exposing it to the world?

A really f’d up one.

Maybe these people are famous, but it is by no means because of their participation in reality. In fact, it’s because of their lack of participation in a normal, sane, morally correct lifestyle.

It’s fine by me if people want to live their lives this way, but the media’s constant and obsessive glorification of *reality stars* is hurting how other people view themselves.

Yes, you can argue that it’s important to build your own self-esteem, but how can a teenage girl ever feel secure when we constantly enforce beliefs that make her feel otherwise?

If you see that Kylie Jenner has 3 million followers who praise her lip injections, huge butt and breasts, what will that leave you feeling like if you don’t look that way?

Like you are failing and the only way to succeed is to fix yourself.

This term and this obsession are distorting people’s actual perceptions of themselves. Maybe we should consider referring to these people as Delusional Stars or Faux Reality Stars. Let’s at least pay some kind of acknowledgement that these people, their problems, and their lifestyles are NOT normal.

The biggest issue of your life probably won’t be that you’re so tired from all your photo shoots and you want to lay down, that you’re getting divorced for the third time, or that you literally just cannot for the life of you figure out what to wear to that red carpet event next week.

I don’t want my future children to have to second guess their appearances or worry that they’re not successful when comparing themselves to people like this. Nor do I want them to strive to be this way.

I would be ashamed if my son or daughter aspired to behave like most of these reality star. In actual reality, this is not so much of a long shot. If an eight year old saw this disgusting behavior applauded all the time, he or she may want to feel that same reinforcement.

While I’m not saying my future eight year old is about to take her clothes off and take pictures of it with Ray J, I’m saying they would consider it because they’re seeking the same type of approval.

Metaphorically and literally, a star is in the sky and above us. It is unattainable but admirable from a far.

But reality is attainable and it’s right in front of us for the taking.

A reality show is not an accurate representation of the life most humans lead. We must quit blurring the lines and think about the emotional damage this can do.

Get Out, Leave: Why People Really Click “Unfollow”

In light of JoJo dropping three new singles this month, I was feeling nostalgic about her first single, “Get Out,” and it made me think about how we use social media to delete people out of our lives.

We ALL have been unfollowed and at one point or another, it has bothered us. Maybe, like me, you used that fun online app that literally tells you who unfollowed you – confidence booster! It makes you feel pretty badly, causes exciting opportunities for social tension and can leave you second guessing yourself.

But why do people really click that button? I mean, it’s there for a reason so I guess the creators knew people were bound to get pissed enough to delete each other, and today, I think I have finally cracked the case.

People unfollow each other for a ton of reasons. Maybe it’s because they wake up and realize that this person has bothered them so relentlessly that they literally cannot take another picture/post/status or update from them. Perhaps it’s jealousy, a fight, or just general annoyance, but what are the triggers that lead up to clicking the button?

I don’t know yours, but here are mine:

1.You keep showcasing things that are literally impossible for myself to achieive

This seems petty and that’s because it is, but I’m still guilty of unfollowing Kylie Jenner because her posts straight up depress me. I’d be kidding myself if I ever think I’m going to have a $325,000 vehicle or own a private jet. I could sell all of my organs on the black market and still not have enough money to have any of that.

2. You keep posting things that are super irrelevant or TMI

It’s super sad that your hamster died and my condolences are certainly with you and your family during this difficult time, but can you stop posting pictures of your small mammal on the newsfeed?

On the other hand maybe you caught your significant other cheating on you, this is actually really sad and I do sympathize because that sucks. However, please don’t make raging statuses about it. Your private life is supposed to be just that – private.

3. You’re like, really pretty.

Being petty again but at least I admit it. I don’t really like to follow celebrities, models and all that stuff because they honestly make me feel like I’m failing for not being that ~hot~

So I suppose it’s a combination of jealousy mixed with annoyance that I will never look that way and I don’t want to be reminded of it.

4. You give me ANXIETY

Maybe you were socially exiled by your high school/college friends, or are going through a bad break up. The last thing you want is a reminder of all the fun you weren’t invited to join in on or who your ex-boyfriend is now having sex with. Both of these things induce anxiety and I like to opt out of that whenever possible. #strategic

It’s hard to be living in an era where we are surrounded by media that generally makes us feel like we are unworthy. It does seem silly to be upset or even affected by this, but this is a reality.

When we are constantly shown ideas that are well beyond our reach, it’s disheartening. No one wants to be reminded of the fact that they’re not a model, not as pretty, rich, or successful.

We don’t want to be made to feel like we are failing, thus we simply click “unfollow.”

The Real Translation of “I Literally Can’t”

Being able to speak more than one language is probably one of the most impressive things you can do. You may have tried to even to do this by attempting to learn Spanish in the 8th grade, only to find that you failed miserably at it.

Nonetheless, every time someone asks if you can speak another language you will (without fail) let them know, “Un poco.” Hey, at least you tried.

I’m not fluent in anything besides English, and unless very intoxicated, mi espanol es no bueno.

However, I have been #blessed with the ability to translate the ever-popular and female associated phrase, “I literally can’t.”

Now I know that this phrase is looked down upon, mocked and not taken seriously, but I would like to shed some light on it by offering the translations.

Honestly, it’s completely applicable to almost any situation and it can also mean 800 different things.

Seriously, kudos for being versatile.

Location: Frat Party

“I literally can’t with him”

Translation 1: You’re annoyed because he’s ridiculous. He said he was into you the other day and now is purposefully ignoring you. You can see he read your latest text. HE READ IT.

Translation 2: You’re so frustrated right now because you and Pat hooked up last week but now he’s acting like this is the first time you’ve met…

Translation 3: He’s so funny, sometimes you don’t think anyone else could make you laugh as much as him, but you’re saying this to demonstrate exaggeration and an over-dramatic effect.

Location: Sunday Brunch

“I literally can’t even with that picture.”

Translation 1: You have just seen an Instagram of someone you dislike and this picture is irritating. You never want to see it again, thanks.

Translation 2: You have just spotted a tragic image of yourself floating around the Internet and you are totally appalled that you allowed yourself to look that disheveled.

Translation 3: You have replayed a Snapchat story only to find that Jessica lied about not going out last night. Not pleased.

Location: Class

“I literally can’t even right now.”

Translation 1: You have zero idea about what the professor has been saying this entire class and now  really can’t decide if you should get the notes or just let it go, but mostly you want to let it go because this class sux.

Translation 2: It’s raining outside and your hair looks like you rolled around in a dumpster and forgot to brush it. You don’t want to be in this class but also don’t want to walk back to your apartment in this.

Translation 3: You are about to hand in the worst excuse for an essay ever and it’s straight up giving you anxiety. ANXIETY.

So instead of seeing this phrase as something that’s merely annoying, think about the ambiguity and mystery that’s wrapped into one phrase. Exciting stuff.

Game Of Phones: How Social Media Has Created A Digital Battlefield For Millennials

From the day that social media entered our lives, things changed forever. Our ability to constantly share and update friends, family and acquaintances is absolutely incredible. However, with every pro there lies a con.

At first glance, it’s hard to imagine what’s so competitive about social media. How can sharing our photos at the beach or of study abroad trips be causing problems? It may sound trivial, but it actually causes a great deal of anxiety and competition among us.

The prevalence to appear cool or trendy online is very real. No one wants to blast their lowest points in life into cyberspace, but we do want to show off our highest ones. We quickly jump on the chance to share fashionable outfits, family vacations, special moments etc.

It’s one thing to want to keep your close friends and family in the loop, but we all know that this is probably no longer the primary reason we use social media.

A few shares and live updates later, and you suddenly find yourself unarmed and on a digital battlefield: “Why is no one liking my picture yet?” “Do I look good enough in this to share it?” “No one commented on this status, I need to delete it,” “Look how many followers they have, wow!”

Does any of this hit close to home?

We have allowed our phones to suck us into a never-ending and addictive feedback loop of likes, shares, and retweets. We have to ask ourselves, would we really be sharing these images if no one was going to interact with them? The answer is probably not.

Our social media use has become a game of seeking other people’s approval rather than fulfilling our own, personal satisfaction. With catchy phrases like, do it for the insta and pics or it didn’t happen, circulating, it’s easy to get caught up in the trend.

We start finding ourselves striving to do the coolest things in order to appear the most impressive. In reality, we should be striving to make ourselves happy, not achieving the most online interactions.

It’s easy to lose ourselves in this digital reality. We may find ourselves aiming to have the most ‘likes’ or the most followers. Essentially, we are chasing the highest amount of other people’s approval, and why? Because it’s cool to have approval. It feels good to have others reinforce your beliefs.

It’s reassuring when 89 people tell you that what you are doing, or have accomplished is great.

The “Like” button now symbolizes the idea that you are successful, but it also places a wedge between all of us, whether we realize it or not:

“Aw, you got more likes than me!” “How do you have so many followers?” “That’s a great shot, that’s going to get soo many likes.”

Followers and likes are representative of how many people we have giving us the approval we desire. Often, when we compare ourselves to others who have received more interactions, we find ourselves feeling badly about it.

This can eventually cause us to fall victim to the game and makes us play even more. We even start getting strategic about what we share.

So we start using hashtags to increase our prevalence in the search engine, some people start using more risqué images to attract attention, and others use wealth as a means to gain a following.

You know that this sounds silly in the grand scheme of things, but it honestly represents a bigger battle within society.

We all want to feel accepted and we all want to feel liked, so we use our social media accounts to compete with one and other. Maybe this is done without consciously thinking about it, but most likely, you’re comparing yourself to the millions of other people you see online.

We use our number of followers and approval rate as ways to make ourselves feel secure in our behavior and lifestyle. We also have allowed other peoples’ approval to dictate how we feel about ourselves. Have you ever deleted a photo, or removed a status or tweet because no one interacted with it?

My guess is that you have.

What did we do before all of this existed? We lived our lives and didn’t think twice about what we did.We cannot let online interactions determine how we feel about ourselves.

Judgment is coming – but it always has and always will be coming. Get off the battlefield, and get back into reality. The world can feel competitive enough all on its own. Use social media as a way to let your guard down rather than having your defenses up.

12 Life Lessons That College Classes Can’t Teach

It’s a few days post-college graduation and unsurprisingly, I’m feeling a bit nostalgic. Similarly to any graduate at this point in time, I’ve found myself reflecting about all that I’ve learned over the past fours years. Between textbooks, power points, lectures and office hours, I have been exposed to plenty of information.

I’ve certainly learned a great deal from my teachers and classes, but there was an abundance of wisdom that was discovered simply by being outside of a classroom; it came from pure trial and error.

There have definitely been highs and lows but more importantly, there have been many lessons. The lessons I have learned are ones that I could have never learned from a professor. There are some things in life that you can only learn by experiencing them first-hand.

1.You’re going to lose best friends
People will walk in and out of you life, sometimes with good reason and sometimes, for no reason at all. If they walk out, let them keep walking. The people you want are the ones who stick around when the going gets rough.

2.You’re going to screw up
It’s inevitable in order to learn. No one successful has gotten there by being perfect their whole life.

3. Your hangovers are going to get significantly more painful the day after your 21st birthday
Ow – nuff’ said.

4. What it’s like to fall in love
You don’t know until you KNOW.

5. Traveling will open your eyes
Not taking advantage of studying abroad is doing a disservice to yourself. You will not only learn how to budget your money, you’ll also gain a new found sense of independence all in one semester.

6. You need to get rid of the people in your life who make you feel bad for being who you are.
They are of no use to you. Surround yourself with company that celebrates and supports who you are.

7. Collaborating is a better use of time than JUST competing
You can be supportive of others in your field while still being independently successful. Jealously has rarely created anything memorable or valuable.

8. Your GPA does not define your intelligence
Numbers are only ONE way of measuring something.

9. Sometimes you have to kiss some ass to get what you want
It’s just the facts of life, and if it gets you to where you want to be then it’s worth it.

10. A glass of wine can really get your creative juices flowing
It’s just true.

11. How to defend/handle yourself against other people’s hateful words

Sexism, racism, anti-Semitism etc. are still prevalent and no one prepares you for those situations or how to ignore other people’s ugly words. If you have the unfortunate experience to encounter this, you will learn that no matter how strong you are, other people’s (ignorant) words will still hurt.

You’ll have to face this head on in your own way, but nonetheless, you will become stronger and increasingly proud of who you are.

12. Kill your enemies with kindness
Being kind is not only easier, it will inevitably get you much farther than being mean. No one has ever gotten arrested for being kind, but people get arrested all the time for lying, hiding and cheating in the business world.

While I am incredibly grateful to have received an education and degree, some of the things I’ve learned without a teacher are going to be more beneficial to me in the work place and my adult life than any class has ever been.

Perfecting The Art of Passive Aggression

As a person, you have definitely had your fair share of conflicts. What makes us all different is how we choose to handle the problems that we face. After 22 years of existence, I can say with the utmost sincerity and confidence that you should always handle your problems by not handling them at all.

Easy, right? Yes! We should all absolutely strive to handle any curve ball that life throws at us by being passive aggressive. By not addressing things that are upsetting us, making us uncomfortable, pose a legal threat or are life threatening, we can safely assume it will just always, always go away.

Is your roommate a disrespectful, arrogant twit?

Don’t say anything!!!! If you say something to them, then they may know you’re upset and that will be so awkward especially because you’re right. Instead, make sure you leave the place EXTRA gross. This may help them feel motivated to help out.

Is your boyfriend/girlfriend doing things that really piss you off?

DO NOT CONFRONT THEM ABOUT THIS! In fact, in any romantic relationship it is best to never verbally communicate at all. You should handle all of your issues by writing each other angry notes, one-worded texts and keying each other’s cars. You’re welcome!

Is someone not paying you back or owes you money?

Don’t remind them, that’s rude. Yeah, so what if you lent them $400 and you’re late on your rent this month? It’s important that you don’t freak out so that you seem cool. We all know that our credit scores are affected by how cool we are, not how fast we pay things back! Try saying nasty comments during unrelated scenarios with this person, they should remember this way!

Are you feeling really disheartened by a friendship in your life? Has someone done something to betray your trust or disrespected you?

Good! This is great practice for you. Now is your chance to give the “cold shoulder” a whole new meaning. Forget nasty looks, you’re going to pretend this person is dead. You’ve been friends for 15 years? Make sure you look down at your phone extra hard/long when you pass by. One second for every year that you’ve been friends.

Second approach: You can take pictures with another friend and caption them colorfully with things like this, “BEST FRIENDS!” “SO GLAD I FOUND YOU!” “NO NEW FRIENDS” this will let the other person know you have moved on.

Is your internship/job not rewarding, not valuable and oppressive?

Don’t speak up or leave it! Remain in your state of oppression. This will prepare you for a life time of unhappiness, and it’s great for making you extra good at being complacent. Pretend you’re so happy, and let everyone know how great it is through snarky/snide comments.

It also helps not provide applicable skills or experiences. This is great if you’re looking for a real challenge at your next interview. It will make it extra hard to make up phrases and titles for doing things you hated and didn’t teach you anything.

Unsure about where things in your friends-with-benefits/booty call relationship is going, and you really like them?

Don’t talk about it with them. It’s best to leave things undefined, unclear and very blurry! Who cares if they’re seeing other people and it burns your heart, and destroys the last bits left of your soul? This makes life exciting and filled with way more anxiety. You’re so fun AND chill. Bonus!

Ready? Set? Fail.