Dude You’re a Douche

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned since being at college is that there are a lot of really sucky people who think they are God’s gift to the Earth. I really wish these people would get hit by lightening, but only time will tell. Lately, I feel like I’ve been encountering a slew of individuals who seem to think that sunshine, does in fact, shine out of their ass. Does that hurt? It’s not even like these people have done anything significant for the world like medical research, community service, or overall just being a kind person. No, no, none of that. Instead, it seems that the qualifications for being “SO COOL” and obviously way better than me, is just to be a pretentious douche. This is directed towards both sexes, unlike them, I don’t discriminate.

Recently, I had an “employer” who needed a lot of psychiatric help, and I have no shame discussing it here because the experience was so terrible I’m embarrassed to put it on a resume. At first she appeared normal, but soon after meeting her she would tell me how she “hated everyone” and that there were “no ugly people allowed in her office.” Please keep in mind that this individual was trying to run a start up company meant to empower women, and also if we’re being really honest, was not that cute….so was she not allowed in the office either? After the first day, which I wish would have been my last, she proceeded to make a really enthusiastic effort to ignore me as I walked through the door. She would full on turn around, make eye contact, give me a soft eye roll and then look away. Damn, look at those people skills at work! Needless to say, I don’t think she actually will be empowering any women anytime soon.

I also have been enjoying that children of wealthy parents think they are wealthy too, thus can stomp around and spit on you. I would just like to say that it is not your money. You did zero things to earn that money and you are the equivalent to a needy beggar in your parents eyes who accepts generous donations. So I really can’t stand it when I see someone post a picture of a pair of designer shoes that are probably more expensive than my apartment with captions like, “THANK YOU DADDY!!!” This is embarrassing for you and for your parents. This is like advertising the fact that you cannot afford these shoes and that you are a peasant that needs social feedback to confirm that you are cool by how many “likes” you get on this post. See you never. Another favorite is when kids on campus have Lamborghinis and Corvettes and drive around blasting their music. Yeah, Hey, we all know you cannot afford that car but I am really enjoying you flaunting the fact that you’re still financially dependent on your parents.

 

I think that all three of these douches could use a nice slap in the face, followed by someone filming them getting cut off from their parents and or watching their horrid people skills come back and bite them.