Fall is officially upon us and that means three things: Pumpkin spice lattes, Instagramming the leaves, and my favorite, Halloween. Even though it’s no longer acceptable in society to be a 20 something ringing doorbells and asking strangers for candy, at least we can still dress up.
I’m sure I’m not the only one that has noticed in the past couple of years that there is a super big emphasis on “sexy”costumes. There are sexy cats, sexy angels, sexy cops, sexy cowboys, sexy everything. Sexy.
Some of the costumes I’ve seen advertised are pretty ridiculous and pretty far from sexual until someone literally sat down at a drawing board and intentionally made these things slutty. So these are seven of the many “sexy” costumes I’ve seen and I’m confused as to how to feel about them. Are they so wrong they’re right or simply just wrong? I’m thinking just wrong:
1. Bumble Bee
I had no idea a bumble bee was sexy. Hell, I had no idea insects in general were considered attractive. Who knew! But here it is, introducing the sexy bumble bee: because who wouldn’t want to have sex with a bumble bee? I guess it can work as long as there’s no stinger, right?
2. Minnie Mouse
The family favorite, Disney character is now a slut. Come on, Minnie. I thought you out of all of them would have been the one Disney star that didn’t go wild. What would Walt say? SMH.
3. Oscar The Grouch – Sesame Street
Also known as the muppet that legitimately lives inside of a garbage can. Oscar now comes in a sexually arousing version of the character. The costume features a body con skirt and crop top. You’d think that living inside a closed container and on top of dirt and germs would make you want to cover up but I guess not.
4. Scooby Doo
I loved watching this cartoon as a kid except when I watched it Scooby wasn’t a hooker. Times have changed. But hey, maybe he could get away with it…if it wasn’t for those meddling cops.
If I had known that fresh produce was now a sexual item I would have definitely changed my grocery shopping habits. I guess I would start buying these a little less publicly because now, they are apparently a sexual product. This gives healthy eating a whole new meaning, literally.
For as long as I can remember Hell has always been a place to fear. I heard it’s way too hot and the people aren’t so friendly, but check out this costume: The Sexy Devil. Hey, if this is what Satan looks like then maybe being condemned to a fiery pit in the Earth isn’t so bad after all. Heaven may have a new competitor.
Yes, being incarcerated is now hot. I don’t know about you but I love a “sexy” serial killer and nothing screams authentic like one wearing a crop top and booty shorts. If prison was actually like this I think a lot more people would be trying to get in than out.