The Narcissism Filter: We’re Obsessed With Ourselves & It’s Ruining Us

It’s hard to imagine our lives without iPhones, laptops and so on. We’ve been accustomed to technology and grown up in an incredibly innovative technological age. We’re apart of history, but maybe not for the best reasons.

The minds behind the amazing gadgets we rely on so heavily are amazing. The fact that people were able to bring apps, programming and software this far is amazing, but what have we done?

Sure, we know how to use all apps and programs, but aside from that what do we contribute? The answer is relatively nothing of substance. We upload pretty pictures and pray for a certain number of likes. We blast things into cyber space solely for the reason of receiving a response from our friends in the digital world.

All (most) of us do is document our lives, and then compare and contrast it with everyone else’s. This not only is a gigantic waste of time, it’s also really unhealthy.

If you open up your phone right now here’s what you’ll see.

Instagram:

  • Selfies of people making faces that indicate that they tried to take that picture at least 15+ times and means, “Look at me, I’m pretty!”
  • People’s food which says, “Look how fit I am,” “Look how good this is,” or “Look how badly I eat.” Usually it just means, I’m eating this and you’re jealous.
  • People going out which says, “Look at me in this sexual outfit,” “Look at me and my friends drinking, we’re so cool,” or “I’m out and you’re not, have some FOMO.”

Twitter

People use Twitter to do two things: whine/complain about their lives and brag about their lives. Unless you’re a news source, then you’re actually just sharing the news.

We’re all guilty of it, though.

  • “Just got into graduate school #gome”
  • “Everyone is dumb #exceptforme”
  • “Omg landed my dream job #bejealousofme”

We have become a “me” oriented culture. It’s all about one-upping everyone else and it creates a lot of unnecessary competition. What are we competing for? The most likes? Newsflash everyone, likes aren’t a real thing. It’s not legitimate feedback or praise. There is no substance of any kind behind a “like.”  If someone actually thought what you were doing was innovative, awesome, or changing the world, they’d tell you to your face.

Clicking a “Follow” or “Like” button is as easy as blinking. It legitimately takes zero effort, and here we are priding ourselves on our followers and compliments that have never been spoken, just typed along in passing.

It’s crazy to me that marketing and PR have become based around clicks and shares because in reality none of it is really real. It’s all manufactured. Sure, the advertising is generating money and that is certainly real, but at the end of the day it’s all a superficial, made up game. Digital “likes” do not equate with people actually liking you. It symbolizes all the people who view your images, tweets, status etc. and want to compete with you.

If we were less self-obsessed and focusing on larger world issues maybe we could use our social media skills to benefit the human race, rather than our own personal social standing.

Just some food for thought.

New York, I’m Not Coming For You: NYC Might Not Be The “Best”

Disclosure: I’m from Westchester, so 45 minutes outside Manhattan. Yes, I acknowledge I’m not from Manhattan, but have frequented it A LOT in my 21 – going on 22 – years of living. Pretty much every person I know cannot wait to graduate college and move back there, but I honestly don’t see the incentive.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of where I came from. Westchester is bestchester, right? I enjoyed where I grew up for the most part and it was nice to have NYC pretty close by. New York is great for visiting but I would never want to live there, or at least not at this point in my life. Wait…did you guys just hear that? I think I heard the heart of 100,000 Westchester girls just stop beating.

“How can you not want to live in NYC!?” “NYC IS THE BEST!!” “I’LL ONLY LIVE IN NYC, NO WHERE ELSE.” That’s awesome if you’re dead set on NY, but there’s just a part of me, okay mostly all of me, that would break down in sobs if I had to settle there permanently. If I could land my dream writing job, I’d stay.

NYC has a ton to offer: clubbing, restaurants, theater, arts, sciences etc. You name it, New York has it. What NYC is lacking is one very important component of our lives: affordability. Now, my parents don’t plan on paying my rent for the next five years of my life, unlike so many of my fellow classmates whose parents will continue supporting them.

So, I would be burdened with paying $1300-$1500 a month (This is an estimate, not a fact. Please don’t come attacking me about statistics, I’m not interested) to live with 2 or 3 other people.

Ummmmmm. No, thank you. I decline.

Your room is likely the size of a large box, and your kitchen is the size of two. Your bathroom is cramped, and you can barely get enough time in there between you and your two other roommates. Not to mention, food is exponentially more expensive there. Before you jump down my throat and think about killing me in my sleep, hear me out.

I look at NYC like this: hyped up. Celebrities are singing about it, movies are filmed there and fashion shows take place there. It’s glamorized, but hey, so is teen pregnancy, so just let that sink in for sec.

There are thousands of other places we can live in that are just as great and way more affordable. Why should we break our newly formed banks accounts for this place when we have a million other options that are equally great?

Yet, people are so obsessed with NY and why? Plain and simple because it’s “cool” to live in NY. I bet you most people, not at all, are only interested in living there so they can say they live there. This is not a valid reason to relocate, everyone. Job opportunities, dreams and family are reasons to relocate.

People’s jaws drop when I tell them I’m considering Dallas, Atlanta, Miami and so on. They just, “literally can’t even imagine!” Okay, well I can.

Don’t get me wrong, if I had money to blow, I would be all about NYC, but not as a newly graduated person who’s making an entry level starting salary. When I’m rich, I could live there. There’s no bang for your buck at this point in time. Please don’t try and convince me that your 45k salary really has you thriving in that environment. You’re a liar.

I don’t need to live there just so I can change my “Current City” on Facebook to Manhattan. That’s for pretentious people and those trying to overcompensate for self-esteem.

If your industry thrives in NYC then hell yeah, get your butt over there because sometimes you have no other choice, and you have to be there to do what you love. But, if you’re moving there because you think it’s cool or because everyone else is doing it, you might want to ask yourself if you successfully graduated middle school.

If you haven’t, check out the NYTimes October piece about where college grads are moving INSTEAD of NY. Here’s the link: NY has some competition