Get Out, Leave: Why People Really Click “Unfollow”

In light of JoJo dropping three new singles this month, I was feeling nostalgic about her first single, “Get Out,” and it made me think about how we use social media to delete people out of our lives.

We ALL have been unfollowed and at one point or another, it has bothered us. Maybe, like me, you used that fun online app that literally tells you who unfollowed you – confidence booster! It makes you feel pretty badly, causes exciting opportunities for social tension and can leave you second guessing yourself.

But why do people really click that button? I mean, it’s there for a reason so I guess the creators knew people were bound to get pissed enough to delete each other, and today, I think I have finally cracked the case.

People unfollow each other for a ton of reasons. Maybe it’s because they wake up and realize that this person has bothered them so relentlessly that they literally cannot take another picture/post/status or update from them. Perhaps it’s jealousy, a fight, or just general annoyance, but what are the triggers that lead up to clicking the button?

I don’t know yours, but here are mine:

1.You keep showcasing things that are literally impossible for myself to achieive

This seems petty and that’s because it is, but I’m still guilty of unfollowing Kylie Jenner because her posts straight up depress me. I’d be kidding myself if I ever think I’m going to have a $325,000 vehicle or own a private jet. I could sell all of my organs on the black market and still not have enough money to have any of that.

2. You keep posting things that are super irrelevant or TMI

It’s super sad that your hamster died and my condolences are certainly with you and your family during this difficult time, but can you stop posting pictures of your small mammal on the newsfeed?

On the other hand maybe you caught your significant other cheating on you, this is actually really sad and I do sympathize because that sucks. However, please don’t make raging statuses about it. Your private life is supposed to be just that – private.

3. You’re like, really pretty.

Being petty again but at least I admit it. I don’t really like to follow celebrities, models and all that stuff because they honestly make me feel like I’m failing for not being that ~hot~

So I suppose it’s a combination of jealousy mixed with annoyance that I will never look that way and I don’t want to be reminded of it.

4. You give me ANXIETY

Maybe you were socially exiled by your high school/college friends, or are going through a bad break up. The last thing you want is a reminder of all the fun you weren’t invited to join in on or who your ex-boyfriend is now having sex with. Both of these things induce anxiety and I like to opt out of that whenever possible. #strategic

It’s hard to be living in an era where we are surrounded by media that generally makes us feel like we are unworthy. It does seem silly to be upset or even affected by this, but this is a reality.

When we are constantly shown ideas that are well beyond our reach, it’s disheartening. No one wants to be reminded of the fact that they’re not a model, not as pretty, rich, or successful.

We don’t want to be made to feel like we are failing, thus we simply click “unfollow.”

The Real Translation of “I Literally Can’t”

Being able to speak more than one language is probably one of the most impressive things you can do. You may have tried to even to do this by attempting to learn Spanish in the 8th grade, only to find that you failed miserably at it.

Nonetheless, every time someone asks if you can speak another language you will (without fail) let them know, “Un poco.” Hey, at least you tried.

I’m not fluent in anything besides English, and unless very intoxicated, mi espanol es no bueno.

However, I have been #blessed with the ability to translate the ever-popular and female associated phrase, “I literally can’t.”

Now I know that this phrase is looked down upon, mocked and not taken seriously, but I would like to shed some light on it by offering the translations.

Honestly, it’s completely applicable to almost any situation and it can also mean 800 different things.

Seriously, kudos for being versatile.

Location: Frat Party

“I literally can’t with him”

Translation 1: You’re annoyed because he’s ridiculous. He said he was into you the other day and now is purposefully ignoring you. You can see he read your latest text. HE READ IT.

Translation 2: You’re so frustrated right now because you and Pat hooked up last week but now he’s acting like this is the first time you’ve met…

Translation 3: He’s so funny, sometimes you don’t think anyone else could make you laugh as much as him, but you’re saying this to demonstrate exaggeration and an over-dramatic effect.

Location: Sunday Brunch

“I literally can’t even with that picture.”

Translation 1: You have just seen an Instagram of someone you dislike and this picture is irritating. You never want to see it again, thanks.

Translation 2: You have just spotted a tragic image of yourself floating around the Internet and you are totally appalled that you allowed yourself to look that disheveled.

Translation 3: You have replayed a Snapchat story only to find that Jessica lied about not going out last night. Not pleased.

Location: Class

“I literally can’t even right now.”

Translation 1: You have zero idea about what the professor has been saying this entire class and now  really can’t decide if you should get the notes or just let it go, but mostly you want to let it go because this class sux.

Translation 2: It’s raining outside and your hair looks like you rolled around in a dumpster and forgot to brush it. You don’t want to be in this class but also don’t want to walk back to your apartment in this.

Translation 3: You are about to hand in the worst excuse for an essay ever and it’s straight up giving you anxiety. ANXIETY.

So instead of seeing this phrase as something that’s merely annoying, think about the ambiguity and mystery that’s wrapped into one phrase. Exciting stuff.