I Don’t Care About ‘Cool,’ I’d Rather Be Real

The idea of cool is one that we’ve been chasing since forever, and it’s probably not going to stop any time soon. Advertisers, marketers and all businesses thrive and deliver based on what we deem ‘cool.’ There are actually real jobs out there entitled, Cool Hunters. I’m serious, Google it.

But what is cool? I honestly have no idea anymore.

In middle school, ‘cool’ was simple. Cool was wearing Abercrombie and Juicy Couture. In high school, cool was drinking with the older kids and getting away with it. In college, maybe ‘cool’ is Greek life, or sports or whatever. What is it now in this strange and uncharted territory that is also known as Adulthood? All I know is, it’s no longer black and white.

The idea of cool is something I don’t think I can figure out. It seems to always be what’s “trending” but if being cool means being apart of what’s trending, then I want nothing to do with it. Most of the time, what’s trending isn’t necessarily good.

Let’s take a closer look here, shall we?

What’s popular on Instagram? Naked bodies, and mostly people exploiting themselves. What’s popular on Twitter? People participating in degrading conversations regarding gender and sexuality. What’s popular on TV? People who couldn’t tell you what’s going on in Syria, Europe or even in their own backyards.

This is not to say that all social media platforms are completely made up of the above. With every rule comes an exception and undoubtedly, there are a ton of awesome people/brands/ideas that exist. My point here is that it can sometimes seem like the negatives or most superficial things in life are deemed the “coolest.” This is where we get led way off track.

Many of the ideas and people I’m referring to reinforce the idea that being hot, overly-sexual, rude, racist, sexist, rich and so on, is the only way to identify or appear as cool. Perhaps ‘cool’ is what the majority are following.

I think many of us (or at least I’m hoping) are at the point in our lives where being cool actually seems like it takes way too much effort, and comes with very little benefits besides an obscene amount of likes/followers. So, I will happily sit this one out and pass. If being completely superficial and ignorant is what most people think is awesome, I want nothing to do with it. (Unfortunately, my high school self would have jumped on this superficial train faster than you can say BAE).

But times have changed, and so have I. SO here’s why I don’t care about being cool; I’d rather be real:

I may not be able to win Miss America, but I’m funny as hell.

I may not know the hottest clubs but at least I can tell you what’s going on in the Middle East

I may not have the best reputation but at least I speak my mind

I may not be filthy rich but at least I’m happy

I may not have the “hottest” body but I can teach you something new about the world

I may not have a table at that club, but at least my friends actually like me

You may have unlimited access to your parent’s funds, but I know the value of hard work

You may have more “likes” on your Instagram picture, but I enjoyed my time instead of photographing it

You may make people laugh with sexist and racial slurs, but you really must hate yourself

Your parents may have pulled strings for your job, but I earned mine the hard way

You may have more “followers” but I have more fun

If you base your whole life around what is or isn’t cool, are you actually living it? It would seem that you’re just becoming another statistic, another like, follow, and retweet.

Wouldn’t you rather actually do whatever you enjoyed instead of feeling the need to brag about it? Chasing the idea of “cool” is how we lose ourselves and stop being real.

Thinking Out Loud: Stop Offering Me Your Post-Grad Advice

You’re all thinking it, so I’ll just say it: Can everyone stop asking all of us what we’re doing with our lives next year? To say it’s annoying is a very large understatement. When I’m not listening to everyone in my classes trigger their own panic attacks, I’m listening to older people try to give me one.

First of all, you are going to get a job. Sure, maybe it’s not going to be your DREAM JOB but you’re going to get one. Secondly, freaking out is solving and doing nothing (like, literally). I’m not sure why other people are so concerned with my life choices, because up until this point I think I’ve done pretty well for myself.

If you’re not my parents, can you please stop telling me what I “SHOULD” be doing? Did you write a manual or guide for this sort of thing? Did you create a “Job Searching For Dummies,” book? My guess is NO. So please refrain from offering me your anxiety and advice.

I’m not sure what it is about hearing this phrase, “This is my _________ and she/he is graduating this year,” but this statement really triggers people’s protective instincts along with a side of cynicism. Here are all the phrases people who barely know me have offered:

1. You should apply to everything and anything. You don’t get to be picky.
Yeah, I should definitely apply to things that don’t interest me, I’m not qualified for and wouldn’t be a good fit for. This makes sense to me, that is helpful.

2. You’re going to have a really hard time…
These people are clearly the psychics of the world. They’re giving out free readings!!

3. You’re traveling after? Shouldn’t you be joining the real world?
I’m sorry, does getting on an airplane to travel to another country constitute as leaving this planet and entering a different dimension? My bad, I guess I need more than a passport now.

4. Oh….are you sure you want to do that?
Uh…am I sure I want to be happy and pursue a dream? Yup, 100% positive but thanks for your kind words of discouragement. You rock, man!

5. You haven’t started applying yet? Not a good move.
OH, sorry! Did you have some unspoken, invisible deadline I was supposed to meet even though we met five minutes ago?

6. That doesn’t pay very well….
Right, because happiness = money. I always forget, lol!

I just don’t understand why people who are not my parents or close loved ones, care so much about what I’m doing? I got this far didn’t I? You certainly did not pay for my college education or overall existence; was there some hidden investment that went down or some ulterior motives you had in mind for me? I get that people might be trying to offer advice but come on, you don’t have to be discouraging about it.

Maybe we don’t get to be the pickiest when it comes to jobs but we at least get to have a say. We know we want to be passionate, interested and excited about something before getting involved and I think that’s completely fair. The only stranger who’s allowed to offer me their life advice is Ed Sheeran because he literally can’t stop thinking out loud. So if you’re not him, bye!

13 Things You’re Way Too Old To Be Doing In Your Twenties

If you’re reading this, let’s hope it’s not too late.

We all have those friends or maybe it’s even you, that just cannot get it together. No matter how much advice or encouragement you try to offer it just does not register that they need to seriously re-evaluate their priorities.

Watching them can sometimes feel like the equivalent of watching an 8th grader; it’s painful and you’re embarrassed to be associated with it.

If you’re a senior in college or older, I sincerely hope most of you have outgrown the tragic habits of the past. However, it seems some people just can’t shake it off. These habits enrage me because I was always taught to have it together, or at least do a good job of pretending. If you’re doing any of the following, please comment and I can definitely offer some suggestions of some excellent mental health clinicians.

1. Abbreviating EVERYTHING

PLEASE STOP THIS. No, really. Please stop. This is so painful for everyone who is forced to be around you. “OMG, that’s gorg.” It’s gorgeous, not gorg. When you say gorg it makes me think you’re referring to those over-sized vegetables or a monster.

OR

“Obvi” instead of obviously. What is not obvious to me is why you’re using this word. It honestly kind of sounds like you’re about to say ovulation and then realize it’s awkward and stop.

2. Talking Badly About Best Friends

Hello! This is a reminder that you graduated middle school a very, very long time ago and this behavior is not acceptable. You have a problem with a friend? Talk to them about it. Calling them a list of your abbreviated mean names solves nothing. You don’t like a friend anymore? Stop being friends with them. There, problem solved.

3. Subtweeting Or Making Snide Remarks Via Social Media

There is nothing that is scarier than a person who takes to social media to try and act like a tough guy. You just look like you’re not sure how to construct a well-rounded argument. Hop off.

4. Throwing Up From Drinking

We have all had our nights, and we will still continue to have our fun but let’s do so responsibly. Yes, sometimes it’s just the wrong combo of food and drinks, or maybe you were 16 and took a whole bottle to the face behind a 7/11, but most of the time you are completely in control of how your body reacts to alcohol.

You’ve been drinking for years. You know your limits. Stop pushing them. It’s not funny anymore to be the friend puking at the bar. It’s straight up embarrassing and concerning.

5. Getting Mad At Your One-Night Stands

You know what a booty call is. You know what a casual hook up is. Please stop acting surprised when the guy you met at the sleazy bar does not call you back or suggest an evening out on the town.

Hence the “one night” in one-night stand.

6. Being Dirty

Please do your laundry and change your sheets at least once a month. Your mother would be appalled if she saw how much you don’t clean. Don’t be gross.

7. Getting High Before Important Events

If you wanna smoke that is your prerogative, but getting high before job interviews, tests or family affairs is just not okay. You’re at the point in your life where people expect to have engaging interactions with you, not just talk to a glazed over version of yourself.

8. Yelling Indoors

Shhhhh. Inside voices, guys! If you’re still screaming like an angry five year old when you’re sober and/or drunk, stop it. You’re bothering legitimately everyone.

9. Not Cleaning Up After Yourself

The amount of times my mom yelled at me to put dishes in the dishwasher is haunting and I will never forget. She was also right. Leaving dirty dishes out and letting trash pile up attracts BUGS and RATS. I’m taking a shot in the dark here, but I’m assuming you don’t like rodents and bugs so clean up. The only maid service you can afford right now is yourself.

10. Using Your Parents Credit Card

If you’re working a full time job and still charging your Uber’s on your parent’s card, you and your parents need an intervention to be scheduled.

11. Losing Cell Phones

This was funny when it happened freshman or sophomore year of college, but now you just look like a hot mess. iPhones are not cheap and you can’t justify this with, “my parents will just get me another one.” No, no they will not.

Don’t drop your phone in the toilet, leave it in a cab, or forget it at the bar. Just hold on to it.

12. Eating Poorly

Your body can only handle so many preservatives and artificial crap for so long before you actually become malnourished. Ramen noodles and PB&J sandwiches may have been fine alternatives for dinner a few years ago but now your body desperately needs vegetables, fruits and oh yeah, vitamins.

13. Spending over $100 at the bar.

If you know you can’t afford it, don’t do it. Buying people drinks is impressive in the moment. What won’t be impressive is your negative balance the next AM.

Turn Down For What? Just Put Down Your F*cking Phone

The influx of technology in our society will only keep growing, and with it, so will my concerns for not only our generation, but for everyone.

When the first cell phone appeared in 1973 things changed forever. Motorola introduced this gadget that would revolutionize communication. We went from bulky-phones with antennas to tiny-sleek gadgets that fit in our pockets. Our ability to stay and keep in touch has certainly come along way. When we say that we have “progressed” this may not necessarily be a good thing.

Yes, our phones are trendy, fast, and can do what was once thought impossible. However, our experiences and memories are certainly NOT progressing in a positive way. Do not confuse this idea of progression. I have watched both myself and everyone around me pass up real life experiences to observe a “life” in a virtual reality.

While you’re busy swiping right on Tinder, deciding on an Instagram filter, or Snapchatting your food, you’re missing out on everything that actually exists. Nothing that you use your phone for is living; it’s all just one big way to BROWSE.

We are missing out on laughing, getting to know someone new or falling in love because we just HAVE TO BROWSE. You just have to refresh that app, or answer this email, or text back real fast. PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE.

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This is a reality check; a wake up call, if you will. We are all falling victim to a reality that does not exist and simultaneously having less human experiences.

Liking someone’s photograph is not interacting and it will not make you best friends; talking to people, getting to know them, and learning new things will form friendships.

Getting the most followers does not mean you’re popular; the idea of you is. Unless you’re walking around with a full on entourage of 1.1 million people, you’re not actually popular.

Look around you at any time and at any point in the day; all you will see is people with their phone’s glued to their hands and their eyes glued to their screens. When did we swap our souls for screens, and will we ever actually acknowledge that this is what has happened?

Whether you’re believing it or not, it has happened. This is most likely you, and you’re only letting yourself miss out. I can’t tell you the amount of times I ask someone a question multiple times, to receive NO response because they’re answering a text.

Your phone has the ability to be “paused.” You can hit stop on virtual reality, but real life? Not so much.

Every click, swipe, like, and push you do in the middle of real-time interactions is bringing you one step closer to being a robot and one step further from being a human. I’ve seen enough sci-fi movies to know I have no desire to be a robot nor watch the entire human race become an army of mechanical monsters.

Put down your fucking phone.

Stupidity & Snow: Winter Makes The Worst Driver Even Worse

Most people are already really terrible drivers, and the snow only proceeds to multiply their already poor motor vehicle skills. If you’ve ever been to or driven in a city, you know it’s not a good time. If you’ve ever driven in Boston, Massachusetts you would know that driving during the winter is like a version of the hunger games on wheels. No one is safe.

After getting over my initial fear of parallel parking here, I was pretty confident about driving, but seriously how many people parallel parked after their driver’s test? Certainly not me.

I am not exaggerating when I say that practically every time I take my car out to go to work, I avoid an accident. The best part about this is, it’s usually not my fault but the other person gets mad at ME. Haha, okay that makes sense.

It’s pretty evident when you almost cause someone to have a head on collision, so don’t think that you getting all huffy and puffy even makes me forget for a second that you’re a certified moron. People here seem to think that the rules of the road simply don’t apply to them. I’m not sure if they have truly convinced themselves of this or if they got some special document in the mail.

Either way, people here can’t drive for crap. Apparently the following is all okay to do:

Not Use A Blinker – Because why would I need to know what way you’re trying to turn? That’s so silly of me. What ridiculously high expectations of me to have. I don’t need to know if you want to merge in front of me, you should just do it. There’s a very, very low chance that you’ll get your car hit. Sorry about that!!

Not Stopping At Stop Signs – I was such a young, naive fool! It makes a great deal of sense that you would just shoot right through the intersection. Trains? Hahah, there haven’t ever been any train accidents because of cars ever. Pedestrians? They’re mind readers! They’ll know you’re running the sign, no biggie!

Running Red Lights – Red lights don’t apply to city drivers; they’re too cool for those bad boys. In fact, red lights are really unfair to you, I totally get that. Why should you have to stop for other cars, that’s insane. It’s ludicrous that we would want to direct traffic.

Getting Pissed At Traffic – Okay, this one isn’t so much a legal issue, but still interesting. You are backed up for miles, but I think beeping your horn over and over and over again will really get things moving! 45 minutes of traffic? Nothing a little horn beeping won’t fix. People have so much room to move, how ridiculous.

Aside from this, I have fallen victim to being blamed for the weather. Yes, that’s right. Other drivers actually seem to believe that I have made precipitation occur. When you’re driving down a street that now looks like half of a one-way, it’s slightly difficult for two cars to pass. So if you see someone coming, wait your turn.

However, other people believe they don’t do the whole waiting turns thing and instead, just come barreling through the road. Then they act so bewildered that they cannot pass. It’s actually my fault though, I made this weather happen just for kicks.

The other driver will proceed to flip me off, and scream. I’ve found it best to just laugh while making direct eye contact, until they accept defeat and reverse. By the way, if I could make it snow two feet, I sure as hell would not be getting a Bachelor’s and driving around with the likes of you peasants.

Drive safe everyone!

The Narcissism Filter: We’re Obsessed With Ourselves & It’s Ruining Us

It’s hard to imagine our lives without iPhones, laptops and so on. We’ve been accustomed to technology and grown up in an incredibly innovative technological age. We’re apart of history, but maybe not for the best reasons.

The minds behind the amazing gadgets we rely on so heavily are amazing. The fact that people were able to bring apps, programming and software this far is amazing, but what have we done?

Sure, we know how to use all apps and programs, but aside from that what do we contribute? The answer is relatively nothing of substance. We upload pretty pictures and pray for a certain number of likes. We blast things into cyber space solely for the reason of receiving a response from our friends in the digital world.

All (most) of us do is document our lives, and then compare and contrast it with everyone else’s. This not only is a gigantic waste of time, it’s also really unhealthy.

If you open up your phone right now here’s what you’ll see.

Instagram:

  • Selfies of people making faces that indicate that they tried to take that picture at least 15+ times and means, “Look at me, I’m pretty!”
  • People’s food which says, “Look how fit I am,” “Look how good this is,” or “Look how badly I eat.” Usually it just means, I’m eating this and you’re jealous.
  • People going out which says, “Look at me in this sexual outfit,” “Look at me and my friends drinking, we’re so cool,” or “I’m out and you’re not, have some FOMO.”

Twitter

People use Twitter to do two things: whine/complain about their lives and brag about their lives. Unless you’re a news source, then you’re actually just sharing the news.

We’re all guilty of it, though.

  • “Just got into graduate school #gome”
  • “Everyone is dumb #exceptforme”
  • “Omg landed my dream job #bejealousofme”

We have become a “me” oriented culture. It’s all about one-upping everyone else and it creates a lot of unnecessary competition. What are we competing for? The most likes? Newsflash everyone, likes aren’t a real thing. It’s not legitimate feedback or praise. There is no substance of any kind behind a “like.”  If someone actually thought what you were doing was innovative, awesome, or changing the world, they’d tell you to your face.

Clicking a “Follow” or “Like” button is as easy as blinking. It legitimately takes zero effort, and here we are priding ourselves on our followers and compliments that have never been spoken, just typed along in passing.

It’s crazy to me that marketing and PR have become based around clicks and shares because in reality none of it is really real. It’s all manufactured. Sure, the advertising is generating money and that is certainly real, but at the end of the day it’s all a superficial, made up game. Digital “likes” do not equate with people actually liking you. It symbolizes all the people who view your images, tweets, status etc. and want to compete with you.

If we were less self-obsessed and focusing on larger world issues maybe we could use our social media skills to benefit the human race, rather than our own personal social standing.

Just some food for thought.

New York, I’m Not Coming For You: NYC Might Not Be The “Best”

Disclosure: I’m from Westchester, so 45 minutes outside Manhattan. Yes, I acknowledge I’m not from Manhattan, but have frequented it A LOT in my 21 – going on 22 – years of living. Pretty much every person I know cannot wait to graduate college and move back there, but I honestly don’t see the incentive.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of where I came from. Westchester is bestchester, right? I enjoyed where I grew up for the most part and it was nice to have NYC pretty close by. New York is great for visiting but I would never want to live there, or at least not at this point in my life. Wait…did you guys just hear that? I think I heard the heart of 100,000 Westchester girls just stop beating.

“How can you not want to live in NYC!?” “NYC IS THE BEST!!” “I’LL ONLY LIVE IN NYC, NO WHERE ELSE.” That’s awesome if you’re dead set on NY, but there’s just a part of me, okay mostly all of me, that would break down in sobs if I had to settle there permanently. If I could land my dream writing job, I’d stay.

NYC has a ton to offer: clubbing, restaurants, theater, arts, sciences etc. You name it, New York has it. What NYC is lacking is one very important component of our lives: affordability. Now, my parents don’t plan on paying my rent for the next five years of my life, unlike so many of my fellow classmates whose parents will continue supporting them.

So, I would be burdened with paying $1300-$1500 a month (This is an estimate, not a fact. Please don’t come attacking me about statistics, I’m not interested) to live with 2 or 3 other people.

Ummmmmm. No, thank you. I decline.

Your room is likely the size of a large box, and your kitchen is the size of two. Your bathroom is cramped, and you can barely get enough time in there between you and your two other roommates. Not to mention, food is exponentially more expensive there. Before you jump down my throat and think about killing me in my sleep, hear me out.

I look at NYC like this: hyped up. Celebrities are singing about it, movies are filmed there and fashion shows take place there. It’s glamorized, but hey, so is teen pregnancy, so just let that sink in for sec.

There are thousands of other places we can live in that are just as great and way more affordable. Why should we break our newly formed banks accounts for this place when we have a million other options that are equally great?

Yet, people are so obsessed with NY and why? Plain and simple because it’s “cool” to live in NY. I bet you most people, not at all, are only interested in living there so they can say they live there. This is not a valid reason to relocate, everyone. Job opportunities, dreams and family are reasons to relocate.

People’s jaws drop when I tell them I’m considering Dallas, Atlanta, Miami and so on. They just, “literally can’t even imagine!” Okay, well I can.

Don’t get me wrong, if I had money to blow, I would be all about NYC, but not as a newly graduated person who’s making an entry level starting salary. When I’m rich, I could live there. There’s no bang for your buck at this point in time. Please don’t try and convince me that your 45k salary really has you thriving in that environment. You’re a liar.

I don’t need to live there just so I can change my “Current City” on Facebook to Manhattan. That’s for pretentious people and those trying to overcompensate for self-esteem.

If your industry thrives in NYC then hell yeah, get your butt over there because sometimes you have no other choice, and you have to be there to do what you love. But, if you’re moving there because you think it’s cool or because everyone else is doing it, you might want to ask yourself if you successfully graduated middle school.

If you haven’t, check out the NYTimes October piece about where college grads are moving INSTEAD of NY. Here’s the link: NY has some competition

#WCW: Women Crush Wednesday Has Gotten Weird

Okay, you all have seen it or done it (but I really hope you haven’t). I don’t know, there’s just something so fake about about posting pictures of people we don’t know and claiming they’re our “role model.”

The only people who care that Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus or Sofia Vergara is your “WCW” is absolutely no one. No one cares that this is your role model and yeah, it’s harsh, but it’s also true.

Telling people about who you admire is only cool and listened to if you’re actually famous, which if you’re reading this blog, you’re probably not.

I think it’s nice to have role models or individuals we aspire to be like. For example, I admire Tina Fey and Chelsea Handler, but you know what? No one cares, and if you’re anything like me, you’re very vain about your Instagram following. So I don’t post about it because I don’t want to lose more followers than I already do on a regular basis.

When I don’t see people posting pictures of celebrities they don’t know, I see men posting pictures of their girlfriends on Wednesdays. I thought we were only supposed to wear pink on Wednesdays, but apparently now we post pictures of our significant others, too. Not feeling that vibe.

It’s super cute the first time you see a guy do it. Maybe he was a giant “player” in high school and you think, “Awww! That’s so sweet, he finally settled down!” But then you start seeing the pictures EVERY Wednesday, and sometimes just every day.

There’s no way I’m the only one who feels really weird about this. It is superb that you have found love in a hopeless place former man-slut, but I really don’t need to see an announcement about it every day of the week.

If you type #WCW into Instagram here are some of the results you get: You get guys instagramming snapchats their girlfriend’s have sent them, a picture of just the guy saying he misses his significant other, or my least favorite, just the girl.

It may have gotten to the point where you feel like you’re following the girlfriend on Instagram even if you’re not. His insta account is pretty much just a shrine to his lover’s existence. This is not cute, it’s creepy and obsessive.

I’m all for Insta-ing me and my boyfriend because well, I obviously think we’re cute. However, I don’t need him to post filtered images of me every day of the week saying how adorable I am. We’re dating, not in middle school. I don’t need you to tell me you have a “crush” on me. I would think he was a psycho. It’s not cute, it’s weird.

So instead of Women Crush Wednesday let’s think, #WCW What Could We…Post Instead. Think about. Please. I beg of you.

The Girl Who Claims Her Life Is “Perfect”

I can’t believe I haven’t written about this one sooner but was reminded this week of this type of person and you definitely all know her. It’s the girl who broadcasts every detail of her life via social media and no matter what is going on, no matter the time of day, her life is absolutely, positively, wonderfully, amazing! #blessed #luckygirl

We all know that this girl is absolutely, positively, full of crap. Anyone who has to constantly throw digital reminders about how fabulous their life is, is most likely not very happy. While this is kind of sad, I really don’t feel bad for you because that’s why they invented therapists.

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This person is the one who could be in the middle of North Korea and you could ask them how they are and they would tell you, “So great! So happy I came here, this trip really opened up my eyes and I’ve met the most amazing people I love this place!” K.

It’s super annoying to say the least. It’s like they truly want you to believe that they live in a constant state of manic happiness, which to me screams a severe chemical imbalance, just saying. It is not humanly possible for anyone to be happy all the time, it’s just not.

If we never had lows then we wouldn’t know what the highs were like. So hate to break it to you girlfriend, as fabulous as I’m sure your time in North Korea is going, I really don’t believe you. Shocking.

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This is the same person who will ask you how you are, or what’s new in your life, just so they can start talking about themselves. It’s basically like listening to a monologue about them and you would rather be covered in your own fecal matter than listen to any more of their ridiculous tales. Yes, it is that bad.

This person chooses to hide their life behind an Instagram filter, definitely Valencia, and will never admit that they may have any kind of problem. Their boyfriend is perfect, their grades are perfect, their clothes are perfect, they are just perfect.

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This person also captions all of their pictures with cliche quotes, so cliche it will make you wish you were blind because they are so redundant, “Wherever you go, go with all your heart” “it’s better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.” Oh for G-d’s sake, spare me. Please, who told her that posting this kind of repetitive BS was cute?

There’s nothing more frustrating than someone claiming to be some kind of super-human who feels no pain, sadness or any other emotion besides happiness. Honestly, if that existed you would be in some kind of government sponsored experiment where they were using you to create new drugs. Do you really want to be a science experiment because I’m having a hard time thinking of the cliche quote you would use to summarize that picture.

The bullet-ed advice for 20 somethings need to stop

I’m really getting tired of seeing bullet-ed lists all over the Internet written by 25-year-olds, telling 20 something-year-olds all the things they absolutely have to do, wish they knew, or have to stop. Shut up.

First of all, you’re still in your 20’s so please tell me what makes you qualified to give me this bit of wisdom when you haven’t even reached thirty yet. Second of all, who thought this was a cool idea to start doing? These lists are literally the most general ideas I have ever seen/read–seriously vanilla. They usually consist of things like, “Read more” or “Worry about marriage less,” the kids I babysit could tell me this. Then people re-post them, saying “OMG soooo relatable!!!” OF COURSE THIS IS RELATABLE. These statements are so vague they can be applied to anyone, anywhere at anytime, kind of like horoscopes.

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As a 21-year-old I find these lists repetitive, painfully obvious and boring. If I wanted any kind of actual life advice I would go to someone who actually had life advice to give based on experience (parents, grandparents, older siblings) rather than someone who thinks they are capable because they have access to a laptop. Here are a few pieces of the most idiotic and self-explanatory advice on the web for 20 somethings:

“Meaningless sex will always be meaningless”
NO WAY!? Thank you so much for this. I honestly had no idea that participating in an act of consensual and meaningless sex would lead to absolutely nothing. Thank G-d for this or I’d be lost!

“Being single isn’t a death sentence”
It isn’t? Well this is just phenomenal news because honestly I thought I was going to get the chair tomorrow. If someone thinks being single is the equivalent to receiving a lethal injection they have bigger issues to face than the fact that they’re single, like the fact that they probably need to be detained.

“People Change”
Whoever started making this one trend has won my infinite hatred. Thank you Captain obvious. Pretty sure we have all come to realize that people change EVERY DAY and if you are in your 20’s and haven’t realized this by now it’s because you live in a box and haven’t had any type of interactions with human beings.

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So as far as I’m concerned, there is only one thing all 20 somethings need to do and that’s ignore anyone who’s in their 20s and making these stupid lists. Go live life for yourself, whatever you do it will be just fine. Except being single because that’s a death sentence.