Hello Instagram, It’s Me & I Don’t ‘Like’ You Anymore

In September of this year I returned from a 3-month long trip in Europe. I came back because I could only pretend to be care free for so long before I ran out of money and needed a job. At the end of the day I had to admit that unfortunately, food is essential.

Throughout my travels I found myself taking loads of pictures. Some of these were for myself, but mostly, they were for the 476 people who I don’t really know.

After Essena Oneil made her announcement of quitting social media last week, she reaffirmed that I was not alone in my feelings towards social media.

I’m going to be brutally honest about myself here in the hopes that other people can know that they are not alone. Social media can make you feel like absolute and total crap. How do I know this you ask? Because it often makes me feel that way.

Getting likes on Instagram literally made me feel good about myself. It validated that what I was doing was cool, accepted and great, that is until I refreshed the page and saw someone else doing something cool, acceptable and great. My feelings of success were only as permanent as the moment my picture was in the spotlight, and soon faded once I was forced to compare it another individual’s.

You can say this is merely insecurity and perhaps you are correct, but would I really be feeling insecure if I no longer was part of a system that made me compare, compare, compare and then contrast, contrast and contrast some more?

If I didn’t get more than 50 likes, I would feel as though I failed or came up short. As if I studied for a test that I was supposed to get an A on but only received a B+. “But this picture was so cool,” I would think, “Why don’t more people like it?” It made me question how socially well-liked I was and subsequently, made me question myself.

When I share a picture of myself rescuing a sea turtle and it gets 50 likes, but someone is super beautiful and receives 4,000 likes, things get placed into perspective. It makes you feel like what you have done or do will never be enough.

When someone doesn’t post what they’re doing in the social media spotlight many of us often assume that they are not having fun, not successful or not existing. What I realize is that those people have it right. They are the ones existing far more than you or I because instead of captioning images, scrolling through feeds and hitting refresh, they are physically living a life instead of just sharing one.

How in the moment can I really be if I document my life according to what other people will be impressed with. What happened to just feeling good enough on my own?

I’m not going to delete my Facebook because that’s how I connect with those who are far away, but today, I’m breaking up with Snapchat and Instagram because I’m tired of feeling a constant pressure to impress people that I honestly don’t even fucking know anymore.

Do I care that that girl from my English class freshman year liked my photo? Do I need to see the inside of the office of that guy who I haven’t spoken to in four years and how TOTALLY AWESOME HIS JOB IS? No.

If anything, the ability to connect with millions has taught me that I really only need to connect with a few. The most important feedback is from those who know me, love me and want the best for me.

In a society where we are all so eager to showcase our individuality, we readily jump on the opportunity to “follow” other people. Can someone please explain that to me because it quite literally makes no sense.

How will a stranger’s ‘like’ ever make me feel like I’m REALLY doing something.

Don’t say you want to live for the moment when you claim you “do it for the insta.”

Do it for yourself because otherwise, it doesn’t really matter at all then does it?

I Don’t Care About ‘Cool,’ I’d Rather Be Real

The idea of cool is one that we’ve been chasing since forever, and it’s probably not going to stop any time soon. Advertisers, marketers and all businesses thrive and deliver based on what we deem ‘cool.’ There are actually real jobs out there entitled, Cool Hunters. I’m serious, Google it.

But what is cool? I honestly have no idea anymore.

In middle school, ‘cool’ was simple. Cool was wearing Abercrombie and Juicy Couture. In high school, cool was drinking with the older kids and getting away with it. In college, maybe ‘cool’ is Greek life, or sports or whatever. What is it now in this strange and uncharted territory that is also known as Adulthood? All I know is, it’s no longer black and white.

The idea of cool is something I don’t think I can figure out. It seems to always be what’s “trending” but if being cool means being apart of what’s trending, then I want nothing to do with it. Most of the time, what’s trending isn’t necessarily good.

Let’s take a closer look here, shall we?

What’s popular on Instagram? Naked bodies, and mostly people exploiting themselves. What’s popular on Twitter? People participating in degrading conversations regarding gender and sexuality. What’s popular on TV? People who couldn’t tell you what’s going on in Syria, Europe or even in their own backyards.

This is not to say that all social media platforms are completely made up of the above. With every rule comes an exception and undoubtedly, there are a ton of awesome people/brands/ideas that exist. My point here is that it can sometimes seem like the negatives or most superficial things in life are deemed the “coolest.” This is where we get led way off track.

Many of the ideas and people I’m referring to reinforce the idea that being hot, overly-sexual, rude, racist, sexist, rich and so on, is the only way to identify or appear as cool. Perhaps ‘cool’ is what the majority are following.

I think many of us (or at least I’m hoping) are at the point in our lives where being cool actually seems like it takes way too much effort, and comes with very little benefits besides an obscene amount of likes/followers. So, I will happily sit this one out and pass. If being completely superficial and ignorant is what most people think is awesome, I want nothing to do with it. (Unfortunately, my high school self would have jumped on this superficial train faster than you can say BAE).

But times have changed, and so have I. SO here’s why I don’t care about being cool; I’d rather be real:

I may not be able to win Miss America, but I’m funny as hell.

I may not know the hottest clubs but at least I can tell you what’s going on in the Middle East

I may not have the best reputation but at least I speak my mind

I may not be filthy rich but at least I’m happy

I may not have the “hottest” body but I can teach you something new about the world

I may not have a table at that club, but at least my friends actually like me

You may have unlimited access to your parent’s funds, but I know the value of hard work

You may have more “likes” on your Instagram picture, but I enjoyed my time instead of photographing it

You may make people laugh with sexist and racial slurs, but you really must hate yourself

Your parents may have pulled strings for your job, but I earned mine the hard way

You may have more “followers” but I have more fun

If you base your whole life around what is or isn’t cool, are you actually living it? It would seem that you’re just becoming another statistic, another like, follow, and retweet.

Wouldn’t you rather actually do whatever you enjoyed instead of feeling the need to brag about it? Chasing the idea of “cool” is how we lose ourselves and stop being real.

Why Girls Don’t Care That Guys Hate High-Waisted Shorts

The past few months my newsfeed has been overloaded with articles entitled, “Why Girls Should Stop Wearing High-Waisted Shorts,” or “The 12 Reasons Guys Hate Girls Who Wear Peplum Tops” Yeah, Hi I don’t give a shit what you think of my outfit because guess what? I don’t dress myself based on what makes you sexually aroused. I actually get up in the morning and put on what I LIKE simply because I LIKE IT. The funniest part about this is guys actually think we take their opinion into consideration on this. There are a lot of things I think about with men in mind, but when it comes to how I dress myself, absolutely not. So the influx of articles and bullet-ed lists about why we should stop dressing a certain way is not only a waste of your time it is also not going to work.

SO here’s a list of all the reasons I LOVE MY HIGH-WAISTED SHORTS and every other thing I decide to drape my skin in.

High-waisted Shorts:
They are awesome because if you eat a lot or drink a lot of beer, it hides your food baby. Whereas, low rise shorts or jeans emphasize the carb fest brewing in my stomach from last night’s late night munchies. I don’t care that it “takes away from my ass and makes it look like I’m wearing a diaper.” First of all, I don’t have an ass so I didn’t care about that in the first place. If someone isn’t going to talk to me because of my flat butt then they should probably just get deported. You don’t like it? Leave. Second of all, yes, I see where you think it could possibly resemble some type of looseness in the back. BUT I LIKE IT. It’s breezy and comfortable and sorry that you’re all stuck wearing your sad, last season khakis and have a sweaty scrotum. I like my breezy butt shorts. It also looks chic AF paired with a bralette, so bye.

Peplum Tops:
When I wear these kind of tops I have been referred to as a “ballerina” and a “pixie.” I never took ballet because I couldn’t sit still, and last I was aware I am not able to perform magical actions, so no I am not actually a pixie or ballerina because I wear this top. Peplum tops flare out on the sides and look perfect with skinny jeans or a tight skirt. If you think it looks bad, you are 100% not up to date on any type of fashion trend and also you clearly missed this year’s fashion week when every other model was seen and photographed for thousands of publications wearing these kinds of tops. So you saying you hate our tops just screams that you have no idea how to dress yourself and that you actually don’t know what’s cool. So saying to not wear these tops means you want us to be basic ass bitches? No thanks, but you can try with someone shopping at Sears.

Lipstick:
It would be one thing if you didn’t like the lipstick because you were trying to avoid a clown-style face when we made out, but to say it just looks bad, you know nada. Any well-dressed girl knows that a  nude or bright colored lipstick can make or break an outfit. It ties it all together. Guys say that it makes us look like “hookers.” Really? Does it really make me look like a prostitute? Interesting, because when I’m sitting inside a club and not outside on a street corner in my underwear I really don’t feel like a hooker. Women my age have been turning to the color red as the most popular lip color and if guys knew anything then they WOULD KNOW that red is scientifically proven to attract men. So us wearing the lipstick is actually turning you on without you even knowing it.

It’s a shame that you’d rather look at girls in yoga pants, which is the most basic bitch item you can own, instead of appreciating women who are creative and up to date on the latest in the fashion world.  This only means you’re unoriginal and have low standards, give yourself a pat on the back, you’re super lame. Maybe invest more time in becoming well-versed in all things worldly, yes fashion is a worldwide topic, rather than spending your time making weak arguments against our outfits that we will never be listening to, just laughing at them. So excuse me while I go put on my high-waisted shorts.